maybe.. not really..

I was sitting on a bus on my way home from tutoring today
when I remembered a scene from my past
no actually i didn't remember it, it just came flying and I wasn't really ready for it
it was the moment when all these white bars came toward me very slowly
and Charles yelling out words like he was reading a sign
no actually Charles enunciating these words really loudly it was so clear and slow 
and when the white bars stopped approaching me the world seemed so quiet
and the moment seemed to have lost sound, smell, air and most importantly, time
and when the moment retrieved its life I looked beside to see
pale, pale Charles slowly, slowly turning blue
with an expression I have never seen before and hope to see never again
and then I realised that I burst out laughing on the bus
no actually it was just a short laugh, a loud one, and an involuntary one, too
heads turned to me and I looked out the window, pretending something funny was happening outside
but all I saw was an old homeless man with a piece of cardboard that had 'I am hungry please' written on it in a hungry handwriting
which I think used to be a complete sentence before the cardboard somehow got destroyed
or I hope it was
and then came back Charles' face slowly changing colours
and then the second laugh came, involuntarily again
how I wished I could stop
the bus ceased to move and the homeless man was framed in the bus window, with his incomplete sentence
and staring eyes that said 'insensitive bitch' stung my face

but I can't help that
every time I think about my near-death experience
I chuckle out loud